urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen Judzon Judzon 2005-11-07T02:42:17Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:269680 2005-11-07T02:42:17Z 2005-11-07T02:42:17Z this is just one of those "i feel like a completely different person" kinda feelings and it's the result of the events that took place this week. natural selection, adapatation, i just gotta roll with it whatever it is. it's something very little but feels so crucial to my growth.<br /><br />i'm seeing things through different lenses.<br /><br />I think i should've started a new chapter a long time ago. But better late than never. It's been fun. I loved every second of it. I love you all.<br /><br />...Later! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:269497 2005-11-06T11:27:28Z 2005-11-06T11:27:28Z The Sith Code<br /> Peace is a lie, there is only passion.<br /> Through passion, I gain strength.<br /> Through strength, I gain power.<br /> Through power, I gain victory.<br /> Through victory, my chains are broken.<br /> The Force shall free me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:269223 2005-11-06T10:53:03Z 2005-11-06T10:54:40Z and i know if my room was filled with hella people it would be empty just like it is now. holy shit it stinks. go me.<br /><br />so sacramento is losing another great person next saturday. jason magsuci. he's going to san diego. our opposite. 619. ya. anyway. i hate it when there are those people you know that you could potentially be hella great friends with but aren't just because. i mean it makes sense. people know too many people. but geez.<br /><br />offered a lot more to think about tonight. fun fun stuff to marinate on. i love that jonathan can always provide a new perspective. often times beneficial perspectives. <br /><br />i'm looking forward to it.<br /><br />i can't decide if i wanna go to bed and wake up early to study...or study tonight hella late and wake up later and study. o well. i'll figure something out. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:268930 2005-11-06T03:40:27Z 2005-11-06T03:40:27Z i don't care what anyone says...collateral is a dope movie. i love it.<br /><br />i didn't think i would but everytime it's on i just can't peal my eyes away. i like tom cruise's character a lot.<br /><br />ya that's all. heheh what a worthless entry. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:268756 2005-11-05T05:02:33Z 2005-11-05T05:04:26Z dood anyway. hands down...everybody needs a buckner. adora can attest to that. what is WITH that family...mmm get em.<br /><br />so ya gonna spend some more time with family tonight. jon is in town and i haven't had a good talk with him in a while. that's always a good remedy for death eh?<br /><br />CHI CHI POI POI!!!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.japander.com/japander/schwarz.htm">http://www.japander.com/japander/schwarz.htm</a><br /><a href="http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/commercial/">http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/commercial/</a><br /><br /><br />omg if you like japanese craziness with an action star/governor. this is it. sparky...i'm lookin at you. oh ya and jacob.<br /><br />but please honestly you guys. that video is so worth your time. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:268443 2005-11-04T21:37:11Z 2005-11-04T21:37:11Z so ya lui has these adidas oddities...<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/soochen/adidas_oddity_8.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br />and i just got these ones....<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/soochen/ad_5.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br />and jacob should get these ones...<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/soochen/adidas_oddity_6.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br />we'll all have crazy feet! aaaaah!<br /><br />but seriously though...these kicks are pretty crazy if you ask me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:268085 2005-11-04T10:04:52Z 2005-11-04T10:04:52Z on the real. there are some bands out there that are simply untouchable. i can't even comprehend how you begin writing the shit they come up with. so inspiring and discouraging all at once.<br /><br />i think imma play a song for my lola at the funeral if i can write it in a week. we'll see how things go. i miss you. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:267913 2005-11-02T04:45:11Z 2005-11-02T04:45:11Z i'm fine. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:267603 2005-11-01T15:35:47Z 2005-11-01T15:49:16Z just when i thought things were getting better...i thought i'd be ok. i want to fucking die. i can't handle this anymore.<br /><br />i wake up to...<br /><br />"judzon wake up...lola is dead..."<br /><br />why is all the worse shit happening when i need to fucking focus?!?!?!?<br /><br />i want to give up... <br /><br />is anyone there? anyone at all?!?!?<br /><br />i don't have it in me anymore... guys i've never been so scared...<br /><br />i'm so sick of crying...<br /><br />i can't believe that there are people who call times like this a test from God. they truly believe God is testing you! ugh...how fucking sick and twisted is that? i hate your God. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:267478 2005-11-01T08:03:18Z 2005-11-01T08:03:18Z i hope you like my new journal icon. i did it to honor our highschool years. i hope you can forgive me LoL...<br /><br />MF ruthless. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:266839 2005-10-31T08:08:46Z 2005-10-31T08:08:46Z wow...why did i really come home 2 nights in a row smelling like "subculture". yeesh. i don't know how people can tolerate smelling like that on a regular basis. party nights is fine...but everyday? goodness. i'm going to be sure to bring febreze the next party i go to. all those cigarettes put together is just...yeesh.<br /><br />i had fun.<br /><br />ya'll looked good. <br /><br />let's do this again sometime.<br /><br />off to finally study. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:266503 2005-10-31T04:42:52Z 2005-10-31T04:42:52Z <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/soochen/halloween.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:266450 2005-10-31T03:26:28Z 2005-10-31T03:52:23Z claire, tina, tipper...<br /><br />i've found where hasbro has been hiding all of the mace windu lightsabres! <br /><br />fry's electronics.<br /><br />they're on the shelves that make up the check out line! there are like 12 of them just stacked together! i was furious...but relieved all at once.<br /><br />i miss you guys. ;^P<br /><br />i want to write some music but i've lost my voice. it's a really sad feeling. anakin skywalker-ish. completely powerless...another reminder to you all i've killed all the younglings. every last one of them.<br /><br />i bought deftones b-side and rarities. and DANGERDOOM. i'm excited.<br /><br />i like how i've reverted to hella old music again to make me feel whole. back in those days when music was all i had. it's a trip to think about. they weren't kidding when they said that you'd be a different person at the end of highschool...but they also forget to mention that you change even more rapidly in college. i'm at that point where change has been taking place left and right so frequently that i gotta go back to my roots to start all over again. <br /><br />i need to be reminded.<br /><br />wow what happened last night? that was ridiculous. to ever end up at some hella low key wherehouse rave down the street from the homeless convetion. good lord.<br /><br />i still think my favorite costume was the big black girl/guy on rollerskates that had a white fluffy skirt on and had this half fat-kid face as he rolled his large ass on the dance floor. awwww man. MF hillarious. <br /><br />jake and i took a picture with the cigarette smoking bishop too. that was kewl...we ran out of film before we could take one with jesus because lui couldn't stop takin pics of the giant dildo porn they were playing in the next room. <br /><br />lui was a prisoner!!! MF LoL...too fuckin funny. i hella can't stop laughing when i think about it. his spoon! someone please tell me why?!?!? he had a spoon that he dug out of prison with and he wrapped it in duct tape for GRIP!!! tell me that isn't funny! and when we were walking in the alley and he was running from car to car...why was the environment hella appropriate for his costume. oh ya! and the tears...i drew tears on his face. perfecto man. <br /><br />i honestly can't remember the last time i fuckin dressed for halloween. i was a nun with guns and jake was a priest with a piece. good call on the gold guns jake. <br /><br />i can't WAIT til i develop those pictures. they're gonna be soo good. <br /><br />good thing halloween happens once a year. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:266203 2005-10-30T23:10:13Z 2005-10-30T23:10:13Z i push the limit but i limit myself.<br /><br />like blink 182 it is all the small things.<br /><br />i really thought i knew but this morning i definitely knew.<br /><br />i hope you know.<br /><br />she knows.<br /><br />he knows.<br /><br />like common...just knowing.<br /><br />like gi joe...knowing is half the battle.<br /><br />it spikes now and then.<br /><br />like hieroglyphics...you'll never know. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:265964 2005-10-30T10:19:27Z 2005-10-30T10:19:27Z yes. i killed the younglings. all of them.<br /><br />i'm ruthless blood. <br /><br />DARK SIDE! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:265646 2005-10-29T06:45:28Z 2005-10-29T06:45:28Z i came home before midnight.<br /><br />wow. i should mark this in my calender.<br /><br />p.s. there's a bunny that lives in my yard. i love it. it's so cute. i've named him todd. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:265259 2005-10-28T20:58:43Z 2005-10-28T20:58:43Z forget your lovely lady lumps...<br /><br />you need to watch out for my hump.<br /><br />it gets me very far<br /><br />who fuckin knew that girls would be into ass as much as guys are. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:265163 2005-10-28T04:24:16Z 2005-10-28T04:24:16Z finally...a taste of adult partying...<br /><br />going to monkey bar tonight to fuckin get myself wasted. never been able to say that before. so i'm excited.<br /><br />yay! angelica is here. it'll be more family bonding.<br /><br />gonna wear my diesel's for sure...the ones i can't wear underwear with cause they're super constricting. LoL...ya...<br /><br />gotta remember to eat prior too...i'll act like a fewl.<br /><br />cya in the morning! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:264949 2005-10-27T04:02:38Z 2005-10-27T04:02:38Z miseducation of lauren hill<br />10 dollars at tower what a deal.<br /><br />had to get it.<br /><br />i'm proud of myself. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:264591 2005-10-26T18:08:33Z 2005-10-26T18:08:33Z i changed my mind. that my hump remix by lil jon i think is my favorite. it's sooooooooooooo tite.<br /><br />dood adora i gotta put this shit on cd for you. ugh! you could play it @ buckey's...<br /><br />my hump...my hump... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:264352 2005-10-26T05:30:24Z 2005-10-26T05:30:24Z <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/soochen/vervesilver225540.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br />practical, versatile, modest yet stylish.<br /><br />everything i need in a camera. do you like? cause i do. it's 140 at comp usa. everywhere else has it for like 200. genevive has it(erich's sister) and it's a lot of fun.<br /><br />hella tiny too. i'm into compact. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:264009 2005-10-26T04:11:11Z 2005-10-26T04:11:11Z this is the fuckin mix for you.<br /><br />it's classy tasty ghetto. ghetto shit i happen to really enjoy.<br /><br />my hump remix-lil jon<br />touch it-busta rhymes<br />club talk-ea skea<br />touch on me- i didn't write it down...<br />only where my white tees once-federation or frontline i always get those confused<br />everybody know my name-keak da sneak<br />out my body-mac dre<br />super sic wid it-mistah fab<br />my new booty-bubba sparkxxx<br />you got a lot of that-ice cube<br />chrome and paint-ice cube<br />gettin it in-jadakiss<br />something serious-keak da sneak<br />3 freaks-keak da sneak<br />bacgate rv- mista fab<br />give it up-petey pablo<br />everybody get up-pitbull<br />concieted-remy ma<br />robot-turf talk<br /><br /><br />i'm feeling a good year for hip hop. a lot of familiars are coming back. specifically i'm lookin forward to busta...his beats make me wanna break everybody off. i'll make the club look like the agent smiths vs. neo fight in reloaded. bodies will be flying everywhere.<br /><br />lui i'm lookin' at you. that bustah song i have on here is probably my #1 choice. fuckin a i need a dance partner. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:263821 2005-10-25T19:52:34Z 2005-10-25T19:52:34Z lui comes back today!<br /><br />i had a dream about large butterflies last night.<br /><br />i close with jacob.<br /><br />slept pretty good.<br /><br />pullin' a rocky balboa isn't as fun as it used to be.<br /><br />now the balance can be restored. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:263448 2005-10-25T04:31:23Z 2005-10-25T04:31:23Z try going from "fly me to the moon" by sinatra to "like whoa" by black rob. you can't help but giggle your nipples off. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:soochen:263259 2005-10-24T19:08:29Z 2005-10-24T19:08:29Z i hate those mornings when you're struggling to get out of your bed and you have absofuckinglutely nothing to look forward to.<br /><br />it was probably one of the most depressing mornings i've ever had. <br /><br />i don't mean to bitch...and i hate writing entries that kind of paint this sad picture of my life depicting everyday to be some sort of battle but...when in fact on the scope of problems this world has to face...my personal battle becomes a parasitic tick. i'm just bummed right now. not in general. just this very moment. but bummed enough that it'll make your entire life seems so programmed and planned. i feel like my life is some product in a factory on an assembly line. everything is timed accordingly. everything was meant to happen. <br /><br />fuck that shit.<br /><br />ahhhhhhh!!! <br /><br />this moment...right now. 11:57 am on oct. 24 2005. this feeling is probably the same exact feeling neo had everyday before he was set free.<br /><br />lately i've been thinking of whether or not college is really my shtick.i'm not horrible at it. it's fun. it's fine. nothing is wrong with it. but i feel like i need a little more. erich joining the military and barrel and eson talkin about the seals all the time...makes me curious. maybe i don't want freedom to and i want freedom from.<br /><br />i want to see the whole fucking universe. i'm sick of being content. i've grown tired of feeling safe. i'm starving for experience. with every tediously boring day my ambition grows exponentially. <br /><br />i should just "fight the good fight". i want to risk my life. i want to feel like i could potentially not be here tomorrow. i need to get some blood flowing again. i need to be passionate about something...someone...anything. <br /><br />wait.<br /><br />i've got it.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i know what all of this is about.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />don't panic.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />just breathe.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i know what i want.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i want to be a samurai.